When Dr Debra Graves OAM boarded a cruise ship, it wasn’t uncommon for her to wedge suitcases against her cabin door before going to sleep.
It wasn’t because she was worried about intruders. It was to help prevent her husband Don — who was living with dementia — from waking during the night and wandering from their cabin.
It was just one of many practical strategies Debra developed to ensure she and Don could continue travelling after his dementia diagnosis.
Despite the challenges that came with caring for someone living with dementia, Debra says continuing to travel remained a priority because it brought them both immense joy.
Even as Don’s condition progressed, the couple continued to travel — something Debra admits required extensive preparation to ensure everything went as smoothly as possible.
“Travelling with Don at that point in his life involved next-level preparation,” she says.
“But I had it down pat because we travelled a lot.”
As the couple had always enjoyed cruising holidays, Debra developed some practical safety strategies that allowed them to continue going on cruises together.
“I would use extra suitcases to barricade the cabin door at night as a form of protection in case Don got up and wandered,” she says. “If the sensor mat didn’t wake me, I thought the sound of the suitcases would.”
Travel helped keep Don stimulated, engaged and improved his quality of life
An avid cruiser, Debra says Don felt comfortable out on the water, and particularly enjoyed spending time on deck.
“If we hadn’t continued to travel, I think Don’s condition would have deteriorated faster,” she says.
“Travel helped keep Don stimulated, engaged, and improved his quality of life.”
Just as importantly, Debra says travelling helped the couple maintain their connection while enjoying something that had long been a familiar part of their life together.
With more than 446,000 Australians living with dementia — and an estimated 1.7 million people involved in their care — Debra hopes more people realise a diagnosis doesn’t necessarily have to mean the end of travel, provided there is someone willing to adapt, plan ahead, and offer the right support.
“Of course, travelling with dementia isn’t always easy,” Debra says.
“We had to adapt, and we had to think ahead. But we also had wonderful experiences together. I would never want families to feel that a diagnosis means they have to immediately cancel the things that bring them joy.
“Dementia may change the way you travel. It doesn’t necessarily mean the journey has to end.”
Practical travel advice from one carer to another
With Dementia Action Week running from September 21-27, Debra hopes her experience will encourage more conversations about not only the challenges of dementia, but also the things people living with the condition can continue to enjoy.
“Every journey is different,” she says. “There is no single right way to travel when supporting someone living with dementia. What matters is finding what works for you and the person you are supporting.”
Debra says she would also like to see more conversations focus on what remains possible after a diagnosis.
“I think we need to talk about all of it, including the things people living with dementia still want to do and have always enjoyed,” she says.
“Travel is one of those things. Too often, the conversation starts with what someone can no longer do. I’d much rather we started asking what is still possible, and what would make it possible for more people.”
To help those caring for and supporting someone living with dementia, Debra has put together a list of practical travel tips she found useful when travelling with her husband Don after his diagnosis.
+ Maintain familiar routines wherever possible.
+ Plan a slower-paced trip with built-in rest periods.
+ Avoid over-scheduling activities.
+ Choose quieter travel times and less crowded destinations where possible.
+ Use clear, simple communication.
+ Prepare for fatigue and behavioural changes.
+ Pack a dedicated travel kit with medications, clothing, and comfort items.
+ Carry identification and emergency contact details at all times.
+ Choose direct transport routes where possible.
+ Allow extra time for boarding, transfers, and delays.
+ Notify airlines and transport providers in advance of assistance needs.
+ Select quiet, secure accommodation that is easy to navigate.
+ Avoid frequent changes in accommodation or complex itineraries.
+ Ensure access to nearby healthcare services.
Debra shares more of her experience and deeply personal stories in her book To Dementia With Love, co-written with Jane Carstens, which is available via Amazon, The Book Adviser, the National Library of Australia Bookshop (Canberra) and The Burns Bay Bookery (Lane Cove, Sydney).
